


230315

by MistyMoon



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pathcode Teasers, M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Injuries, Minor PDA, Minor Violence, also i apologize if its a bit ooc this is my first time writing exo, also krislutao are dead rip, bc im an Ass and forgot how timelines work, mentions of the rest of ot12, qntos minors eu consigo enfiar aqui, this makes more sense if you imagine the pathcodes took place after lucky one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-08-11 15:29:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7898029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistyMoon/pseuds/MistyMoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn't like that before; they weren't afraid back then, they didn't have to hide, they didn't have to worry about whether they would be alive the next day. Junmyeon spent too long running away, and when he felt like he could rest, felt like he was finally safe, it all went wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	230315

**Author's Note:**

> i was ready 2 post this when ao3 logged me out do u understand how much i did not want to redo this  
> anyway im a hoe for the pathcode teasers (which btw im tempted to write a chanbaek one,, js) and i love myeon so there we go. i wasnt initially planning to write suchen but im also a hoe for suchen so  
> also i thought of krisho for the parts where myeon mentioned yifan but idk u rlly have to Dig to find it so tbh they can be either friends or past lovers (tho it gets worse if u imagine past lovers for Reasons TM so tbh u do u)  
> lowkey unbeta'd bc i proof read some parts and others i didnt so tbh,,, spin the wheel and find out if this is good

Junmyeon woke up shivering. His palms were sweaty and his sweater felt too hot. He could feel imaginary hands ghosting over his arms, his throat. He couldn’t open his eyes, the fear of seeing blinding lights and clean, white walls being too much. He tried not to think about what happened in the last three years, but his dreams never let him rest. He was always back in his bed, back in his room, always too drugged to react, but never enough to be completely numb. He tried to breathe, tried to calm down, but the air was too thick to breathe and he could smell the latex gloves, the sterilized needles, the plastic roses next to his bed. He could perfectly remember the way Luhan’s screams echoed down the hall, a day before he simply went missing.  
_Luhan_ . Junmyeon could no longer put a face to the name, it’s been too long since he last heard anything about him. He felt guilty for not giving the other what he deserved, what all of them deserved. _The right to be remembered_ . Hopefully the others hadn’t forgotten.   
The buzzing of his phone brought him back to reality.   
(05:13) Jongdae: _they got sehun and yixing, almost got minseok_   
Junmyeon’s heart stilled.   
(05:14) Jongdae: _leave dont take anything besides your phone and please be careful_   
_minseok froze 2 ppl, theyre dead myeon_   
_dont fuck up just run_   
Junmyeon was trained to react quickly; he looked at the messages for only a second before grabbing his phone and bolting out of the front door and into the woods behind the house. The surroundings were familiar, he had explored them before in case something like this happened and he had to know where he was going. It seemed like autumn was quickly leaving its harsh imprint; the trees barely had any leaves left, the grass felt dry. On a normal day, Junmyeon would be careful enough not to bruise himself in the tree branches. Today just happened not to be one of those, so he ran through them as fast as he could, his only objective being getting away from the house and inside the building.   
Once he reached it, the old, abandoned building, he quickly made his way to the black bag hidden behind some bushes. Before all ten of them escaped the labs, they found files with countless pages, where each one of their profiles and the experiments performed on them was documented. It seemed wise to steal them, to make sure no one had any life threatening information about them besides themselves. They kept their own files, but in his last actual meeting with Jongdae, the other had asked him to keep his file, afraid he wouldn’t be able to keep it safe himself. He was essentially trusting his life with Junmyeon. They both knew it was the best decision to be taken, yet Junmyeon was hesitating. It took a lot of convincing on Jongdae’s part until Junmyeon took his file with shaky fingers. The building seemed like the ideal place to hide them, seeing as no one besides him went there.   
He sighed in relief when he saw all the files still intact, though it still worried him that maybe one of the pages could be missing and he wouldn’t notice, since there were _too many damn pages_ . The place was safe enough for him to check every single page, but not yet enough to be a sufficient hideout. It was far enough from the house that it’d take them a while to find him, but if he stayed there, they definitely would. Junmyeon just needed time. Time to calm himself down before things got out of control, before _he_ got out of control. He would not harm another person again, he had promised himself that.   
The memories came to him in a blink; the mixture of blood and water pooling at his feet, the choked sobs that came from the men before they fell to the ground, even more blood mixing into the water. He had stood there, watching, silently hoping the men to get up and stop pretending to be dead, because of course they were pretending, they _had_ to be. Water kept pouring from the walls, threatening to flood the room, but Junmyeon couldn’t move. He had no control over his body anymore, he couldn’t look away from the bodies, couldn’t run back to his friends before it was too late. It took two people, Yixing and Chanyeol, to drag him out of the room before he experienced the same fate as the two men. He was shaking, he couldn’t breathe, his chest felt too tight and too uncomfortable and he wished he could watch the water fill the room, rise to his neck, to his head, until it filled his lungs as well and he could rest. Instead, he clung to Yixing while he led both him and Chanyeol to find the others, so they could finally leave. He had never harmed anyone like that, he never imagined he could. It was only then that he realized that he was dangerous, that all of them were dangerous. For the first time in years, he was afraid of all the nine people around him, including himself.   
His breathing was labored and he barely had the strength to move anymore. He wanted to give up, give in, let them take him again, just so that he could take a step without having to worry about whether he would be alive the second after that, without having to worry about accidentally hurting people. He was dangerous, he had to acknowledge that, had to think about the others before thinking of himself.   
He sighed. He never asked for this. For this constant worry, this burden he couldn’t get rid of. If giving himself up meant he could keep people safe, meant he could forget all his worries, maybe it was worth it. On the other hand, it wasn’t just his life at stake. He still had Jongdae’s files, still had the other’s life on his hands. This wasn’t a decision he could make on his own.   
His phone buzzed in his hand and he knew he had to move. He was afraid to look at this phone, afraid it’d be another message, afraid someone else got caught. His heart was at his throat and, even though he knew it was for the best, he wished he wasn’t alone.   
There was shouting outside and Junmyeon could tell it was him. Before they got too close, he grabbed the bag, left the building and ran. He didn’t know where to, he had never went anywhere beyond where he previously was. The sun was shining now, illuminating the vast grass field he currently ran though. Everything was dry and colorless and Junmyeon knew it was too easy for him to be spotted there. His heart was racing, his mind blank with fear. If he got caught, it was all over. He had all of his and Jongdae’s information, all of their weaknesses, all of their strengths, everything there was to be known about them. If those files were taken, they wouldn’t be able to run away anymore. Junmyeon would end not only his life, but also Jongdae’s. He had to keep running, keep giving his all to protect the bag.   
As he ran forward, his lungs burned with every quick inhale of the ice cold air around him. His legs were almost numb, it was a challenge to even think about moving. This felt like too much for one morning.   
His pace slowed down as he started to feel water beneath his feet. Marseille wasn’t safe, it’d never be safe with them around, but knowing that he could defend himself if they ever got too close was comforting. He hoped it wouldn’t come to him having to use it though; he promised himself, he promised _Jongdae_ .   
The water was running calmly, but it started getting more agitated as he got closer to a concrete square-shaped hole. It was more than half his height deep, but still deep nonetheless. It looked completely out of place, concrete surrounded by dead grass. Junmyeon sat on the edge of the hole and jumped in. He noticed a sealed drain on the wall behind him. That was definitely why the water was reckless; the drain was stopping its natural flow. His fingers traced the patterns engraved on the seal, tingling given the proximity with the running water. The memory of his phone buzzing back in the old building comes to him, and he checks it, even while being terrified of what the message might contain.   
His phone lights up a second after he takes it out of his pocket.   
(07:57) Jongdae: _hide the files, burn them, idfc just dont let anyone find them. im getting worried chanyeol stopped answering me. im hiding, but i dont have much time, they almost caught me shit_   
(07:58) Jongdae: _ur safety is more important than our promise. dont forget that._   
(08:10) Jongdae: _im sorry im so sorry myeon i love you_   
It all starts coming apart.   
Jongdae was probably about to get caught. He was about to be knocked unconscious and Junmyeon couldn’t do a single thing. He could only pray for Jongdae to resist and break free. He didn’t want to imagine what it’d feel like to have, once again, hands on his arms, on his throat, sticking a needle on his forearm and then seeing nothing but darkness, only to be greeted by incandescent lights harming his eyes.   
Junmyeon hasn’t seen Jongdae in so, so long. They were always too far away, it was always too dangerous for them to be together. His touch was a ghost, barely a coherent memory. Junmyeon was close to forgetting Jongdae’s rough skin, his sharp cheekbones, his soft raven hair, the way his lips fit perfectly against Junmyeon’s own.   
Junmyeon had decided long ago that he’d rather be dead with Jongdae by his side than alive without the other.   
Heavy footsteps tainted Junmyeon’s thoughts of Jongdae. He could see three men clearly, and it was obvious they could see him too. They were heavily armed, heavily protected, and Junmyeon’s knees almost gave out. They wanted to hurt him, take him back to his worst nightmares, but they were still people, they still didn’t deserve what Junmyeon could do to them. He considered staying still, considered letting them take him, but then he thought of Jongdae. Of how he trusted Junmyeon with his life, his files, how even seconds before he was promised to the labs once again, his thoughts were of love.   
Junmyeon rushes to the wall opposed to the drain to avoid impact. He heard the men shouting, telling him to stop moving or else. He swallowed hard, focusing on his connection to his element. He knew he could tear the seal on the drain, knew he could harm, kill the men in front of him. His eyes were closed, his breathing steady. He hesitated.   
“ _Your safety is more important than our promise. Don’t forget that_ ,”   
He let go.   
The sound of the seal hitting the concrete ground echoed in the air, but it was soon drowned out by the huge splash of water escaping from the drain. It went to all the corners of the concrete hole, except where Junmyeon was. It’s as if it was being stopped by an invisible barrier surrounding him. The men looked composed, as if nothing had happened, but Junmyeon could see the tension, could feel they were going to be careful about approaching him. It was a shame they wouldn’t get to live long enough to do that.   
Junmyeon’s eyes were still tightly shut, but he could sense where each one of the men were, could sense where each one of them would go in the next second. He made the water leaving the drain go to the opposite direction it came out, making it aim towards them. No weaponry, no protection would stop it, stop the need Junmyeon had to protect himself, to protect the files, to protect the chance he still had of helping Jongdae. The element surrounded the men, trapping them in a sphere of water, and then Junmyeon clenched his fists, trying to reproduce the idea in his mind. The sphere kept getting smaller and smaller, boxing the three men inside, and Junmyeon could feel them tremble in fear. He considered stopping, thinking the scare was enough to make them give up, but a part of him knew it wasn’t, knew they wouldn’t stop until they got what they wanted. They were people, yes, but so was him and if he let them go, he’d be in danger. He’d have to go back to the labs, ( _back to jongdae_ ), back to the experiments, ( _back to safety_ ), back to the blinding lights and suffocating smells ( _and jongdae and jongdae and jongdae_ ). He didn’t have time to finish his thought process before he heard the choked sobs, the pleas of help, the screams laced with pure, raw fear, and it was all too familiar, too much. The sphere kept choking them, drowning them, all while Junmyeon just stood still, hearing the three men fight for their lives. He could barely breathe, could barely move, all of his strength focused on using his element. He felt a familiar sensation in his nose, and he knew he should stop, knew he was pushing himself too hard, knew he wouldn’t last if this kept going.   
The blood from his nose quickly made its way into his mouth and he released the sphere, regret taking over his body. He opened his eyes and fell to his knees, placing his hands on the floor to support himself, while he gasped for anything that would ease the burn in his chest. He couldn’t hear anything, there wasn’t any sign that any of the men were still alive and, for the first time in years, Junmyeon broke. He couldn’t hold back the tears, couldn’t hold back the sobs, the silent screams, couldn’t stop himself from lowering his head to the concrete and wishing he joined in in Yifan’s stupid plan years ago. He should’ve stopped, he should have listened to himself when he thought about stopping, about letting them go. They didn’t deserve to die, they didn’t deserve what he did to them, they didn’t deserve it. His sobs got quieter the harder it got to breathe and soon, he stopped crying altogether. He was reduced to a shivering mess, unprotected, completely vulnerable. If any of the men were still alive, he’d be too easy to catch. He should care, should pick up the bag and leave before anyone else found him, but what for? Six was too high of a number, too many people who Junmyeon shouldn’t have hurt, too many times he couldn’t control himself. He’d be a bit too happy if someone were to end his misery in that moment.   
He spent too long with his head on the floor, the blood from his nose dripping on the floor, his fists balled up next to his head. His breathing had evened out, and he felt like he had strength enough to get up. He rearranged himself, sitting down and leaning against the wall closer to him. There were no signs of anyone that would want to harm Junmyeon, and he allowed himself to relax for a second. He wished he could go home, wished he could go to Almaty, wished he could remind himself of where each one of Jongdae’s moles were, wished they could both have some time.   
He closed his eyes, let his head rest against the wall, and a wave of tiredness came over him. Everything was quiet, too quiet, but Junmyeon didn’t mind it. He was about to fall asleep when he heard footsteps once again. All types of alarms went off inside his head before he heard a loud noise next to him and turned his head. The sight before him rendered his voice useless; thousands of different sentences were forming in his head, but none of them would come out, none of them could express the relief he was feeling. He couldn’t do anything but stare.   
Jongdae kneeled beside him and a hand Junmyeon knew all too well was placed on his shoulder.   
“I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner, took a while to convince Jongin to take me here.” Jongdae offered him a soft smile, his other hand moving up to wipe the blood off Junmyeon’s nose.   
“It’s okay, I’m okay,” Junmyeon managed to say, hoping he sounded convincing. He’s lying, he always is, never wanting to worry the other too much. He knows Jongdae never believes him, but he keeps doing it.   
“Myeon…” Jongdae brushes his finger over Junmyeon’s cheek and Junmyeon feels calm, feels like he could live in that touch forever. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He’s been taking rushed, quick ones since he woke up, the slow intake of oxygen makes him feel dizzy.   
“I didn’t want to kill them.” It’s a whisper, a confession, an excuse Junmyeon hopes the other will accept. He can feel the tears forming in the corner of his eyes and he blinks them away, trying to keep composure, trying to hide the fact that he’s drowning in guilt, trying to pretend he had forgotten their promise, and that he hadn’t been well aware of what he was doing, that he couldn’t have stopped at any moment, that he couldn’t have avoided the three men’s death.   
It doesn’t work; Jongdae cups his cheeks and forces Junmyeon to look him in the eye.   
“It’s not your fault.” His voice is soft, too soft, and Junmyeon knows he doesn’t deserve this kindness. “They were going to take you back, maybe even kill you. You couldn’t have avoided that.” Junmyeon wants to believe in Jongdae’s words, he does, but they sound empty, sound like they’re only being said to relieve his own pain.   
Junmyeon sobs. He escapes from Jongdae’s hands and buries his head in his chest. Jongdae is quick to wrap his arms around him, his thumb rubbing circles on the back of Junmyeon’s neck. Jongdae kisses his head, letting his own rest there. Junmyeon grips Jongdae’s shirt, soaks it with his own tears. He doesn’t deserve it, the reassuring touches, the reassuring words, the support Jongdae provides him. He’s done so much for him, yet Junmyeon has yet to do anything for him. He felt like dead weight on Jongdae’s back. A burden the other has to deal with.   
Jongdae removed his fingers from Junmyeon’s neck, running them through his hair. Junmyeon’s sobs had ceased, but he continued to breathe with difficulty. Jongdae knew that, in moments like these, when the other’s worries and anxieties were eating him up, he doesn’t need words that are only there to fill the silence. He needs quiet, needs soft touches and time. Jongdae has known that for so long, having had to use it too many times before. He knows Junmyeon breathes with more ease when he hears the other’s heartbeat, knows that he appreciates Jongdae’s warmth, knows he needs a reminder that Jongdae is there, that it isn’t a dream, that he isn’t alone. And he knows that the reassurance Junmyeon needs comes in the form of fingers in his hair and light kisses on his head. Jongdae knows Junmyeon like he knows his own mind.   
Jongdae’s fingers find Junmyeon’s gripping his shirt, and he slowly takes the other’s hand in his own and intertwines their fingers. These moments of closeness were precious, they barely existed anymore. They were always too far away from each other, they never had any opportunities to see each other, all nine of them were always by themselves. Jongdae would have Junmyeon in his arms for the rest of his life if he could.   
“Are Sehun and Yixing okay?” Junmyeon mumbles against Jongdae’s chest.   
“Jongin told me Sehun managed to get away, but I haven’t heard from Yixing in a while,” Jongdae answers, but immediately regrets his words, because he knows Junmyeon will think the worst, will think Yixing is either back at the labs or dead. “Yixing’s probably fine, though. He knows how to handle himself.”   
“What about the others?”   
“Jongin’s here, so he’s fine, and Minseok texted me telling me he was safe, but, uh,” Jongdae thinks carefully before speaking, because he hasn’t heard from the rest in a while, and he has yet to hear _anything_ about either Baekhyun or Kyungsoo. They can’t do anything but wait for any of them to say they’re alright, but he knows Junmyeon will worry until he knows they’re all safe. There’s no way out; he either tells Junmyeon, or he hides it from him, causing the other to worry anyway. “I don’t know about the others, Jongin doesn’t either.” Junmyeon sighs.   
Junmyeon looks up and his eyes meet Jongdae’s. He likes to think the stars hide in his eyes, with the way they shine. He could get lost looking into Jongdae’s eyes, could write books and books filled with poetry about them, yet it wouldn’t do them justice. Junmyeon’s stare landed on his lips and he hesitated for a moment. Maybe right now wasn’t the best time. They were still in danger, there were still bigger worries, maybe Junmyeon should wait until things were calmer and the others were safe. Jongdae seemed to be stronger than those thoughts, though, because the idea, the thought of feeling his lips again was too tempting. Junmyeon’s thumb traces Jongdae’s jawline, his chin, then he starts going up, stops at his lips. It’s a silent request for permission, one he isn’t sure Jongdae will accept, isn’t sure if he wants him to accept it.     
His doubts disappear when Jongdae closes the distance between them, his hands cupping Junmyeon’s cheeks for the second time that day. Jongdae’s chapped lips feel like home against Junmyeon’s, they fit like two puzzle pieces. Junmyeon’s hands move up to Jongdae’s shoulders, then his neck, pulling him closer. The moment is everything Junmyeon has been aching for since they last met. Jongdae’s lips used to plague his dreams, a wish to be fulfilled, and now they were there, they were against his own and they were _real_ . He wanted to drown in the safety of Jongdae’s touch.   
It was over when they heard a voice above them.   
“I know you’re, uh, having a moment and all, but” Jongin looked a bit awkward looking at them, as if he really didn’t want to be there interrupting them. The moment he began to speak, Junmyeon and Jongdae pulled away and looked at him. “Minseok texted me, saying he needed help to get Baekhyun. I have no idea how he found him, but I should probably go. Are you coming?”   
“It’s not safe for us to stay in one place, so yeah,” Junmyeon replied. “I mean, if you can handle transporting all three of us.” Jongdae was almost sure Junmyeon needed to worry just as much as he needed to breathe.   
“Yeah, it’s nothing.” Jongin scratched the back of his head before speaking again. “I’ll, uh, wait for you to finish whatever you were doing, you, uh, deserve it. The time alone, I mean. Like, after all that happened,” he was close to stuttering, and Junmyeon felt bad for him. “Okay, I’ll just go.” He was gone before either Junmyeon or Jongdae could mention his awkwardness.   
“I feel bad for him,” Junmyeon admits.   
Jongdae chuckles and tucks a strand of hair behind Junmyeon’s ear. “I don’t, not at all.”   
He leans in close enough to make their lips touch again, but only for a brief second. Junmyeon whines when Jongdae’s lips leave his, earning a breathy chuckle from Jongdae.   
“I love you,” Jongdae says, tracing Junmyeon’s jaw with his fingers.   
“I love you too.”   
“I think we should go and not force Jongin to come here again.” Jongdae laughs and Junmyeon joins in.   
“He _really_ didn’t like interrupting us, poor kid.” Junmyeon was smiling and Jongdae couldn’t help but stare. He was truly the most beautiful person Jongdae had ever met.   
They both got up, out of the concrete hole, and they started walking towards Jongin once Junmyeon grabbed the bag with the files in it. They didn’t feel wet, or damaged in any way, and Junmyeon was glad. While they weren’t necessarily good memories, they still carried most of his life, and he didn’t want to lose them.   
“Is mine still there?” Jongdae asks, gesturing to the bag.   
“Along with mine, yes. It doesn’t look like anything happened to them, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Jongdae sighs in relief.   
They’re a few seconds away from Jongin when Jongdae decides to hold Junmyeon’s hand, his thumb brushing over the other’s fingers. He loves Junmyeon’s soft skin, his gorgeous fingers, the faint dust of freckles on the back of his hands.   
“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” Jongdae whispers, eyes looking at Junmyeon.   
“Shut up, yes you have.” Junmyeon feels himself turning red, being caught off guard by Jongdae’s compliment. He tries to avoid the other’s gaze, fearing he’ll get even more flustered.   
They reach Jongin, hands still connected, and Junmyeon looks around, just to make sure there’s no one else looking for them, following them. He spots the place where the bodies of the men he fought earlier should be, and he freezes. They should be there, but they aren’t.   
“I got rid of them before anyone saw them, don’t worry,” Jongin said, reading Junmyeon’s terrified expression and realizing what the other was thinking. “We really should go now, though.”   
Jongin held both Junmyeon’s and Jongdae’s free hands, preparing to go to Berlin and meet Minseok. Junmyeon felt warm under the sun, he didn’t want to leave just yet. He wanted to close his eyes and wake up, feel the warmth of his bed, pretend all of that was just one of his nightmares. He wished he could go back to when he and Yifan were just two fourteen year olds, two kids who had no idea about their powers, who had only seen needles when they got their flu shots. He hears Yifan’s laughter in the back of his mind and he wants to burn the sound, wants to forget anything before the day he moved to Marseille, wants to erase the memories of blood on his hands, of Yifan’s pleads (“I can’t live like this, I can’t handle this, _please_ ”) echoing in the empty room. Junmyeon’s eyes close and he prays, _prays_ for things to be alright, for him to have Yifan again, for none of this to be real.   
Jongdae’s shoulder touches Junmyeon’s and he turns his head.   
“It’s gonna be alright, Myeon,” he whispered, as if he actually believed that. “We’ll be alright.”   
Junmyeon wanted to laugh, but Jongdae’s kind eyes and his faint smile made him think, even if for a second, that he was right.   
_We’ll be alright._


End file.
